Good Morning Everyone

Well, today is November 16th in the year of our Lord 2007. I am here at work and it is another wonderful exciting day at the VA. Things are starting to calm down here some, although it never really effected anyone that I directly work with. Maybe it will shake up some of the management and cause people to be fair in their hiring practices and blah, blah, blah like that. Well, I have come to a painstakingly hard decision regarding moving or not. I have decided to stay here in Illinois and go to school. I mean, I have my school paid for and I get money back, really what could be a better deal. I enjoy school, it has been 11 years since I have done any real school work, so it is an adjustment getting back into the swing of things. I plan on getting my bachelor's degree in either Physics or some type of Engineering. I guess I will decide when I grow up. :) But truly, I think growing up is a state of mind, if I choose to stay young and active, then I will. I have let so much time pass by me without enjoying life and making the most of what God has given me. i mean, can you believe it is already a week from Thanksgiving. Where has the year gone? Have you done anything this year that you are proud of, or completed a goal that you set out to do? If not, do it!! I have told myself time and time again that I am going to change my life and start living and enjoy life, but have I done it? HECK YES, for a day or two, then I fall back into the same old routine. So my question is how do you get break out of the same old routine? How do you change it and start something new when it rubs you the wrong way or goes against the grain that you are used to. I mean, don't we all get into the same thing, day in and day out. When you talk to someone and they ask you how it's going or how you are doing. Do you answer " O, just the same old thing". Or the famous one, "Same crap, different day", but really how true is that. Have you ever thought about it? I mean, I don't have the most exciting life, but I do have 3 wonderful children that make the days amazing, but I too often don't pay attention to their amazement of the world, learning new things, and their excitement when they discover something new or are in awe of the sheer beauty and splendor of God's creation. So, I'm not going to say I am going to make a drastic change and just start living life to the fullest, or go from 0-100 in 2.5 seconds. But I am going to make little changes daily, or as soon as I can and life allows it. I am going to live better, love harder, and ............???? Whatever life throws my way or the great things of life I get to endure, they will just make me a better man. My mom always taught me how to be a MAN, in every sense of the word. I hope I can live up to what it really means to be a MAN. I think in our world today, we have alot of males that may be grown up, but don't know what it means to be a MAN, or in all actuality what that truly is..
Well, I will get off my podium now. Hope everyone has a good weekend and live life.

Hola mi Amigo's

Hello everyone, its me again, I am sitting here in my chair relaxing. Just thinking about the events of the day and what I did and what I could have done different. I had class tonight and had another test. I enjoy school but sometimes I think it is to much to handle. I mean between work, my family and the events my kids are involved in that keep me busy and now adding school there is just no time to do the things that I would like to do. I would love to be able to cram just a little more stuff in there but there just is not space. I find it amazing that in our society today that we find it acceptable to max out our time and put all that we can into our days that we don't make time for the greatest gift that God could ever give us, our children. I have three kids and it seems like lately that I get to be with them less and less. It seems like I have blinked and they have grown up so much in the past months that is scary. My oldest is in third grade now and he is so precious. You will not find a more caring and polite boy in this world. I am so proud of him and the little man that he has become thus far. He loves God, he is so respectful of people and takes such good care of his little brother and sister. My little girl holds my heart in the palm of her hand. She is so beautiful and I already know that I am going to have a problem with the boys when she gets older. But any boy that does date her is going to have problems on his hands. She is so strong willed that you cannot tell her anything. When she puts her mind to something there is no stopping her, if she believes in something regardless if she is wrong and can see the truth right in front of her she will find a way to argue and make her claim to her point. Then there is my youngest, "my little buddy". He came at a time in my life that I was needing something. I had just moved home from the service and was having a hard time getting adjusted and had a hard bout with depression. Then when he came along, it seemed to finally break and I was so much better. Although he is the baby, he is the little stud of the family. I guess because he is the baby, we have pretty much spoiled him, and it is my fault since he is the baby, God knows I have to let him do what he wants to do. He thinks he is as big as his brother, and on occasion can get the best of him when they wrestle. He is going to be built like me. He is going to be a "little manmountain". I cant wait to get my boys in the gym with me so we can lift the weights together. I do struggle sometimes with them because my dad left when I was very young and I didn't have a father figure in my life to teach me the things about being a man, and what being a man truly is. I did have men that stepped in and taught me, but I missed out on that bond between a dad and his boys. So now I look forward to teaching my boys about what it means to be a man. Now, going back to what I talked about earlier in the blog about our time shortage. Although time is crunched and life is often hectic, don't allow that to miss out on the greatest gifts that God would ever give you. Make the most of everyday, and don't allow yourself at the end of the day to ask what if. Tomorrow is not promised to no man so make sure the you tell the ones you care about that you love them, and if you have a dream chase it. I heard someone say once "if you shoot for the sky and miss at least you will be a star". God has blessed each and everyone of us so much so make the most of what God has gives us and live this life like there is no tomorrow. Have no regrets and make an impact on someone. But most of all, make time for those you love...........
As far as for my decision that I wrote about in my previous blog. I am still praying and seeking God for an answer. But in between this time of decision, I am going to live my life to the fullest and at the end of the day, I WILL NOT ASK.. WHAT IF?

Whats going on with me now....

So, its been a while since I wrote and alot has been going on and I will update you on a little bit of it. Things at church have been going good. God has been moving and things are going good. Work is fine. There has been alot going on there but nothing that has really effected me any. The only thing that really bothers me is that in the government work system, if you do your job and work hard, you can pretty much guarantee that you will be overlooked on everything. You will be passed up on jobs and promotions, being recognized for awards and accomplishments, but on the other hand. If you are a dirt bag and a slacker, if you dont show up for work and dont do or let alone know your job, then by all means lets advance you and make you management material. I do find it quite amazing that people that are dummer than rocks can advance and make advancements. Maybe one of these days somebody will get in leadership that can somewhat change things a little bit. On the other hand, I am done with it all. I have never let a job or the things that happen at work effect my home life, and this is the first time that this has happened to me. So, I have decided to begin to change my life's direction. I have begun a major job search that encompasses the whole United States, but also, my true desire is to go to medical school and become a doctor. I am still relatively young and that would be an attainable goal and something that I would love to do. So I do have a major choice to make over the next few months. If i do decide to go to school, that would mean me staying here and having the support of my family and friends to help, but if i dont decide to do that, i have had alot of opportunities that are opening up and I would love to move out of the area. I will write back soon and let you know what I decide to do. I will be making a choice very soon, and I will post what I decide to do. if you read this and you have any thoughts about it, let me know, comment and tell me what you think. Thank you and I will be writing back more. Take care.................................Until next time...

Some of my thoughts for the day.......

Sorry it has been a while since my last post. Things at work have not really been wonderful, and daily life has gotten in the way and has brought many challenges as of late. So I thought I would just sit down now and blog about what is going on. I know if you have read my wife's blog lately you know the kind of personal attack that we have been under. Now, I am not a whiner and one to complain, but as my wife said I have taken this personally and am quite offended by what has been said. I do think what hurts the most is the fact that the ones that have done the talking are ones that we have opened our house and our hearts to. All I will say about the whole situation is I forgive them that have done the talking, and you know who you are, but I do also feel extremely sorry for you because you hurt and messed with God's anointed, and the bible says "do not touch mine anointed". The bible states that is a sin and woe unto the person that does this. Now, this has passed me and I have let it go and let God take it and am looking forward to the future and the excitement that I have for what is going to take place. So now on to something else................................................................
I am excited about our trip to Ft. Jackson South Carolina to see a very close friend of mine named Nathan Bracken. He will be graduating from Army bootcamp and we are very proud of him. Despite everything that goes wrong and haywire, God is still good and he is in control. I can't wait to see what happens over the next few months in regards to my families lives and the path God has for us. Have a good day...............................Until next time....

BE WHAT YOU PROFESS TO BE

One of my biggest pet peeves are people who do not live up to what they profess to be. If you profess to be a christian and are against certain worldly things, DO NOT go back on those things just because you are alone or with a group of people you think are your friends and you think it is OK. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE EFFECTS YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE'S LIVES, AND TO WHAT STANDARD THEY HOLD YOU UP TO. I don't claim to be anything great, but one thing is for sure, you will never, ever see me do something that I talk against....

ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE, HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR GOD TO STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND DO NOT CHANGE A BELIEF JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE WITH FRIENDS.. IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL TO YOU, BUT YOUR SOUL AND YOUR INTEGRITY ARE AT STAKE, AND FOR SOME OF YOU..... YOU HAVE LOST RESPECT FROM ME!!!!!!

DRAMA

So, can anyone tell me why there always has to be drama? Why in everything we do in life is there a way for this little worm that wiggles its way in and its goal is just to start discord, why is it allowed in everything we do? I don't know if it is allowed, but why do we let it show its head and begin to fester? I am so sick and tired of everything we try to do to forward a project, that there always has to be someone that throws a wrench in the process by causing drama. We are about to encounter a situation in a few weeks, where I am sure the drama level is going to increase, and it will be totally up to me to stop it in its tracks. The Manmountain vs. Drama, who will win??

The work day is almost over

Today has not quite been one of those awful days that you wish it had never started, but it has not been one of greatest either. It's been one of those days that tonight when I get in bed I will lay there and think what a total waste of a work day. I don't know what the deal has been this week, but I have had one of the worst attitude problems toward my co-workers and really just anyone that I deal with in general. And now that my day is almost over, I am looking forward to going home. My plans for this evening- Go home and relax, then me and doo-dah will go to bed and watch the basketball game. Now, this may not sound too exciting to you, but this will be one great night. I cannot wait!!!! Hopefully it goes as planned.

My Wonderful Weekend

Well, this past weekend was a real bummer. Friday started off good, work went good and the day flew by. I actually even traded in my car friday for a 2004 Hyundai Sonata. It is a very nice car and I got it for a great price. I just needed something to get me back and forth to work, and this car will be great for that, and it is in good shape and runs like a champ so I am sure I will have the car for a while. Well then the fun began. Friday night I was sitting at the house with my wife and kids, and two of my favorite people, Jeffrey and Danielle. As I was sitting there, I kept dozing off and for the life of me could not keep my eyes open. I felt like I was drugged big time, and then began to get sick to my stomach, so I ended up just going on to bed. I woke up early saturday morning and was very sick to my stomach and had a horrible headache. So needless to say, I woke up the dead as I began to throw up from my toes. If you have ever been around me when I get sick, you know that it is quite the spectacle. So i spent the majority of my weeked sick in bed. I was scheduled to preach sunday night, and I knew this was just a tactic to get me out of preaching. So I tried to take it easy and get to feeling better. So Sunday afternoon rolled around and I got up and ate something and began to feel a little better. So I studied for the sermon and began to feel better and better. I was not at 100% but I wanted to be in church. So of course, church was just amazing. The spirit of God was there in such an amazing and powerful way. The whole service flowed in one direction and the move of God was beyone comparison. God spoke to us and we just had an amazing service. Thank God for the change that he is doing in my life. So, all in all, it was a great weekend.

Just another day......

Today is just another one of them days. Things just seem to coast along, not alot happening and everything just seems to be dull and boring. I do the same things everyday it seems. I do the same things at work almost everyday, in the same way with the same people. Sometimes I just want something different, nothing extreme, but something else. Believe me, I know that complacency is a tactic of the enemy to make you feel not wanted or alone even though people are all around you. It even teeters on the point of depression and loss of self worth. There are so many things that I want to do, but I just don't. I always think, well someone else will do them or that's not my place. But as of this moment right now, I want to make a change in my life and attitude. I want to be the front runner, I want to be the ALPHA MALE if you understand what I mean. I have never had a lot of self confidence or pride in myself and have always felt less than worthy or less than adequate. I know people that have the attitude of they can do anything and they come across conceded or jerks and I don't want to be like that, but I do wish I had more self confidence. I am going to try and change my mindset, I have always been taught you have to dress for the job you want. Basically if you can see yourself doing it in your mind, then you can do it in life. I am going to start "dressing for my new attitude" and change my mindset and become bold and be the man that I want to be. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing life and God has blessed me beyond compare, but I don't think I am living up to the potential that I could be. So, lets see what happens from here...............................

It's a new day

I only have a few minutes today to write, os I thought I would post something good. Or at least good to me. I got my joy back. In this christian race we run, there are times that we come up against a brick wall and sometimes it beats us. I have felt like I have been beat for a long time now, but I made the decision last night that there is nothing that can keep me down or hold me back. I have reclaimed everything that has been taken away from me. I am reclaiming the joy that I have lost over the past 4 years of my life. I am reclaming the power and the anointing that is on my life to do the work of God. I bind every spirit of oppression and depression. Every spirit of complacency and the idea that we have to settle for what we have and that there is not more to this. I bind them in my life in JESUS name, and I loose JOY, ANOINTING, POWER, LIBERTY, BOLDNESS, WISDOM and DISCRETION in my life in JESUS name..........................

It's a new season,
it's a new day.
Amen.

My Heart is Breaking Today.

My heart is breaking today. A very close friend and family member of mine was killed over the weekend. He was on his beautiful Harley-Davidson motorcycle, he and his wife, and was struck by a drunk driver. Terry was killed instantly and his wife suffered a severe broken leg, but she will be ok. I had the great pleasure of working for Terry Sprague at Campbell's Harley-Davidson in Marion Illinois. Terry was my wife's cousin and someone that I had met numerous times at family gatherings and etc.. But this time, I would get to be around him and find out personally what a great person he was. So, over the course of the next year or so I was around Terry everyday except sundays. Terry was one of the most consistent and christ like person that I have ever met. Of all places, a Harley shop is where I got to admire what a real christian is and watch him in action. You see this point in my life was one of the most trying times that I had ever went through, and there in the shop I found a rock of consistency and comfort. I will truly miss this great man. I will miss the jokes and humor and little talks about life, but most of all, I will miss the friend that I made. I hope I could be half of the man that Terry was and live my life to the fullest like he did. I want to say thank you to Terry and Shara (his wife) for being amazing people and for impacting a life just by living the life that you preached. My heart is breaking today, but my heart is yearning for the day when we meet again on that beautiful shore, in heaven. Until then......

The Manmountain Beginnings

I have always been the type of person that has been laid back and calm, most of the time. Because of this I have always held things in and not talked about them or opened up to people. So maybe this will be a way to vent my frustrations and things in life that I just need to rant about and let out. I look forward to sharing things and posting random events that happen in this wonderful thing we call life. So please read and enjoy and feel free to comment anytime. Let's rock-n-roll..........